Monday, April 4, 2011

Thank God It's Thursday Part 4 - "Why God Brought Me to My Knees"

This is how God brought me to my knees…He made me remember where I have been…where I am no longer…and where I am going…

He did this on a Thursday afternoon…the same day that I posted “I Will No Longer Fake the Funk”…He did it with a video “Conversation with Aminah Robinson and Faith Ringgold” that had been posted on BAIA’s website...which is now posted on my blog.

For me this wasn’t just any video…

It was THE video

The moment…

A memory...

A healing…

An affirmation…

A confirmation…

Joy…Unspeakable Joy…

Matthew 7:7...


Awe & Wonder

It was peace be still

It was I AM because we are and therefore because we are I AM

It was God in all his Glory...His love…and His compassion

I was in the audience…at that event…I am the Antoinette in the video Ms Aminah & Ms Faith were talking about…I want you to know that God humbled me that night…

I went home that night knowing…that God was healing me….one moment at a time.

...Your Breakthrough Is Coming...

Much luv,
Antoinette Savage

Thank God It's Thursday Part 3

As I said earlier, I am an Artist…I make dolls using mop heads and African fabric and I do sculpture. My first solo exhibit is this coming September. I am currently a member of “Black Art In America”, which is a social networking site for African American Artist, Collectors, Art Lovers and Art Educators…If you are not familiar with BAIA’s website...all I can tell you is that it is off the chain…check it out at BAIA was created by Bro. Najee Dorsey & Sistah Janelle Dowell…

In November 2010, Najee had posted the discussion “To Give Art or Not To Give Art, That Is the Question? This was my response.

Peace & Blessings Najee,

Yes, I give away my art...but only if I am lead by the spirit to do so. I don't do it for exposure...but for the pure love that I may feel/sense from the receiver. I believe that when a gift is given purely from the heart you are not only blessing the individual...but yourself also. I like to believe that I am releasing and passing on the God (Creator) in me to someone else.

Think about Artist when we are creating...we experience all the love, peace, joy, amazement, wonder, completeness, happiness, knowledge, wisdom, personal growth, reciprocity, fulfillment, determination, tenacity, hope and belief in unlimited possibilities. At least...this is what happens to me.

The above is my stance on giving period...whether it be art or anything else given to anyone, be it a public figure, collector or your next door neighbor. And because of my willingness to give, I have been BLESSED many times over. Let me give you an example.

My mentor, Ms. Jean Wright who is a master seamstress/tailor, is a very good friend of the artist Aminah Brenda Lynn Robinson. Ms. Jean wanted to attend “A Conversation with Aminah Robinson and Faith Ringgold” here at the Columbus Museum of Art and she needed me to escort her to the event. I said sure no problem. But unbeknownst to me, my Ms. Jean not only wanted to attend the event, her intention was to also treat me to the event and to introduce me to Ms. Aminah. This was her way of saying thank you to me for my willingness to give to her. Usually whenever Ms. Jean and I go somewhere she pays for herself and I pay for me. But this was truly different. I get full every time I tell this story. And believe you me I am still flabbergasted and ever grateful for what happened.

Sorry let me get back to my point.

Anyway the benefit event was held on October 21, 2010, in celebration of Ms. Aminah’s 70th and her friend Ms. Faith’s 80th birthday. The proceeds went to the Aminah Brenda Lynn Robinson Endowment. And because, of Ms. Jean’s thoughtfulness and Ms. Aminah’s kindness (she paid for my ticket) and it being a birthday celebration, I decided to make and give a doll to both Ms. Aminah & Ms. Faith. Once again, because of the willingness to give and to give from the heart ….I tell ya it is amazing what the Creator will do. From this one act of giving these are the blessings that I received:

1. The doll that I gave Ms. Faith will be permanently installed in her children’s museum that she will be opening up in 2012 in Harlem. THANK YOU! Ms. Faith. Yes I am still crying tears of joy & wonder.

2. Ms. Aminah was showing off my doll in a room of over 300 people. THANK YOU! Ms. Aminah for a very humbling experience.

3. In 2011 my very first solo exhibition will be at the Star Art’s Limited Gallery. (The gallery owner was at this event) THANK YOU! Priscilla Tyson for sharing your vision.

4. THANK YOU! God (CREATOR) for allowing me to find my artistic voice!

This is what happens when you are lead by the spirit to give away your art...At least this is how it works for me.

Thank you! Najee for asking the question.

Be Blessed
Antoinette Savage

Thank God It's Thursday Part 2

Its 5:11 p.m. Monday THANK YOU GOD! I had another full night of sleep and woke up this morning in the ZONE! Whenever I wake up in Zone…it is on an poppin…Let me explain…I ‘m Artist and the Zone is my creative center…It’s being with God and allowing him to speak to my mind…my heart…my body and my soul…I become one with whatever it is I am creating…It is a high like no other…and most times I am dumb struck when I see the gift that God has blessed me with…I’m like where did that come from? This was in me? I could do this?

Most times I cry when I am creating...I cry because I am both thankful and amazed at my gift…You see for a very long time I never really thought that there was anything special about me…Until now...When l God blessed me with the gift of art…You see my gift has allowed me to see myself...the inside of me…what I am holding onto and need to let go childhood wounds…un-forgiveness…anger…envy…shoulda coulda wouldas etc…But most importantly I am becoming the me that God wants me to be…and this is why I am no longer willin’ to fake the funk…

The same day that I posted “I Will No Longer Fake the Funk”…God shook me good and hard…as a matter of fact he brought me to my knees…made me cry…and had snot comin’ all out my nose…He did all of this so that I could have a “Breakthrough Thursday”.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Thank God It's Thursday Part 1

Its 5:14 a.m. Saturday THANK YOU GOD! I had another full night of sleep and woke up feeling refreshed. As I said yesterday…I would like to share with you the breakthrough that I received on Thursday… but first let me tell you about the significance that Thursday’s have for me…

I discovered in the spring of 1997 that whenever I was going through something, needed a prayer answered or to make a decision…my breakthrough most always came on a Thursday…but this would only happen if I was open and patient enough to wait and listen for the answer…You know the interesting part about this was… that I had no idea that this had been happening… Let me give you a little history…

I was 38 years old, the legal guardian/single parent of seven children (4 girls, 2 boys & 1 grandson) and on welfare. God blessed me with a wonderful, caring, and compassionate neighbor Gloria Long-Groves. Gloria lived across the street from me and she was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She is a Sistahs Sistah…Gloria started a healing group for Black women, which I became a member of…We met at Gloria’s house on Wednesday evenings and as part of the group my task was to set and close the atmosphere of the room before and after each meeting…I did this with meditation, incense and essential oils (lavender was my favorite). Just a side note: Lavender helps to purify the body and spirit…

The room was purple and white…it was a room of peace…it was a room where Sistahs could share their good…their bad…and their ugly…But most of all for me…it was a room full of LOVE…with Gloria at the center leading us to understand as women… who we were…where we have been and who we could become… if we would just trust in the knowing…

The knowing…as I understand it… is “Doing what God the Holy Spirit wants you to do, when he wants you to do it”.

Soon after I started going to the meetings…I would have one crisis after another or be at my wit’s end about something…and during those times I would run across the street to see Gloria…and we would talk and pray or I would go to the purple room and just get still…It was during one of those times that I began to recognize (1) that I was having a breakthrough and (2) that it almost always occurred on a Thursday.

From that point on Gloria and I begin to call them “Breakthrough Thursdays”.

Gloria wherever you are...THANK YOU!!! My Sistah.

I will finish the rest of the story tomorrow...Until then

Be Blessed & hold on...your BREAKTHROUGH IS COMING!!!


Friday, April 1, 2011

God Heard My Cry

It’s 5:25 a.m. Friday morning THANK YOU GOD! I slept through the entire night for the first time in over a month and woke up this morning feeling refreshed. I will be going to work today! Yesterday was a breakthrough for me. I will explain this tomorrow.

I would sincerely like to thank
My Sistah Vera Rogers…for always being there
My Sistah Tamitri Rogers…for coming to Rescue her big Sister
My cousin Leah Heard …for sharing and listening
My Aunt Pearl Washington… for your phone call and prayer
My Aunt Diane Ford…for her questions
Jocelyn Armstrong … Sistah I heard you and much love
Sistah Jill Frost…for your prayer
My prayer group “Wisdom & Kingdom Seekers”…for silent prayer
And to all who read my blog…thank you.

Be Blessed!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

I will no longer fake the funk…

It’s 7:30 in the morning and I should be heading out the door to work…But I can’t…my legs just won’t let me. I haven’t slept well for several days…hell I haven’t slept well for over a month and I woke up this morning with a headache…I have also been crying at the drop of a hat...

A few months ago… I would have said I was crying for no reason…but I know now that that’s not true…What I do know…is that I am DEPRESSED!!!

Let me really get straight funky with it…right now God is not enough for me… and he KNOWS it…and that is why he gifted people to be Therapist…he heard my cry…and placed me in therapy.

I am tellin’ you this because, I have known for some time that there was something going on inside of me that wanted to be born out me…I could say it in my head…but to truly write it down…and honestly speak it from my mouth…from the depth of my soul…was too much for me…until now…I mean right now…this very moment…to own what I am feeling…not be afraid of me or what anyone else may think or say…

I suffer from feelings of abandonment, betrayal, low self-esteem, unworthiness, anger, hurt, not feeling good enough…and I have been a Rescuer for most of my life…but now… I need to be RESCURED…

Right now I am in a place of HEALING…I am ready... willing and able to take a look at my stuff…no matter how painful it may be… I am willing to feel my gut…see my WHOLE being…take my JOURNEY…understand my STORY….and join my Community of SELF….the unconditional love of who I am…

And on this day Thursday March 31, 2011…I will no longer fake the funk…cause I don’t like how it smells!!!

Thank you Sistah Terrie Williams for sharing your story and for being transparent. It was a Blessing meeting you!!! My Sistah your presence & your book has touched me in a way that is helping me to heal.

For those of you like me...who are dealing with depression...and are looking for answers/resources...please read "Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We're Not Hurting" by Terrie Williams.

Be Blessed on your JOURNEY!
Antoinette Savage